Refrain
by bredalot
Summary: She is not in love with Booth. Brennan examines her relationship with her partner.


**Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine.**

_A/N: So, I was sick of all the fics in which Booth and Brennan are oh-so-aware of how in love they are. My favorite part of their relationship is that everyone else knows, but they are blissfully unaware. Or perhaps they are just viciously denying it to themselves, but they subconsciously know. Either way, they're not admitting it. So here's my response. Also, I'm aware that "breaking proximity" doesn't actually make any sense as a phrase, but I think it perfectly describes what they do, so I continue to use it. Deal. _

She is not in love with Booth.

She likes the way their relationship is now. She likes that he challenges her, because she so rarely gets that. She likes their friendship, their partnership, the way he's slowly begun to treat her as an equal. She hates that he still tries to protect her, because she doesn't need that, but she likes his hero tendencies. It's not rational; there is no reason why he should protect others over himself, except perhaps his own progeny, and yet he does. It's not rational, but she likes it.

Booth himself defies rationality.

He has all the typical characteristics of the alpha male; he is possessive and protective, aggressive and confident. But he is, inexplicably, sweet. He is excruciatingly normal, especially in the lab (sometimes she thinks he makes himself act more normal just to compensate for her team), but he is truly very intelligent. He thinks quickly and learns easily, and perhaps he isn't scientific, but he is a brilliant FBI agent. It's odd, how long it took for her to realize how intelligent he is. Perhaps she first truly recognized it when she saw him in the warehouse, saw him clutching his side but coming for her nonetheless, and knew that he'd been the one who found her. Ever since then, it's only been reinforced. She's continually impressed by him.

But she is not in love with him.

She knows that Angela would never believe that if she were to say it out loud, and perhaps Cam wouldn't either, and she knows why. She flirts with Booth. Shamelessly, even. But she can't resist. It sort of . . . flirts itself. It's an essential part of their relationship, even when they are dating other people, and she thoroughly enjoys it. She also enjoys their casual intimacy, which just reinforces their friendship. She likes knowing she can rely on him for comfort when she needs it, and she likes being able to provide him with the same. She's never been able to do that before, but with Booth, she sort of knows what she has to do, just instinctively. It defies rationality, and perhaps this is what friendship really is. She's noticed something similar with Angela.

It's friendship. She is not in love with Booth.

She has noticed, also, the way they are always breaking proximity. She knows that's something different from friendship, something other; she attributes it to whatever causes her to flirt with Booth. Or perhaps it's just another, more physical aspect of the flirting. Whatever it is, she likes it. She likes standing nose to nose with him, challenging and accepting, talking and hinting and arguing and suggesting. She likes the way he just barely touches her, a knuckle to her chin or a guiding hand on her back. She hates that he treats her like she needs to be guided and protected, but she admires the subtlety with which he does it. She also admires the fact that he dares to do so; not many people can touch her and get away with it. But with Booth, she hardly notices, unless he wants her to. They're very comfortable together.

But it is not love.

She knows that strangers think it is. Anyone who sees them together puts them together; it's a common response, when a male and a female are as close as she and Booth are. It's common, but it's not true. And yet, she can't help but be surprised and a little confused whenever it happens. It's a little like the first few times someone called her "Dr. Brennan": she knows it's something she'll have to get used to if she continues on the way she is, but it doesn't feel quite right. It's surprising and bewildering and vaguely entertaining. She doesn't hesitate to set them straight, but it lingers in the back of her mind for a little while.

She thinks it's the trust.

She, independent as she is, trusts Booth with her life, her past, her career, with everything. And he, self-reliant as he is, trusts her just the same. He's learned to trust his partner from working so long in the FBI, so he trusted her with his life even when he didn't like her, but she had to learn to trust him. And now, for both of them, it's an unspoken trust that goes beyond anything she's ever experienced. For strangers who see them, that trust is easy to see but difficult to understand, and so they misinterpret it.

She is not in love with Booth.

(But perhaps, someday, she could be.)

_A/N 2: Frankly, I want things to continue this way for another 6-7 years. Like Mulder and Scully. Hey, Booth said it, not me. Speaking of which, that's another fic I'm trying to work out in my head: Bones/X-Files crossover of some sort. It WILL be done. Somehow. So watch for it._


End file.
